Stuff that Keith doesn’t want for Christmas

• a blackberry
• to do any shopping
• to get up early
• stress
• any more bullshit
• unsolicited phone calls from call centres
• back pain
• neck pain
• to sound like a grumpy old man
• a kick in the balls
• endless commercialism and spending
• a facebook account
• an iPhone
• any ghosts of Liberals past
• any religious messages
• schmaltz
• a lack of cricket
• an SMS
• war
• to wake up and be told that the federal election result was a dream
• a Komodo Dragon
• any trouble